baxiasprice | Erku

"Mhm. Da-ge certainly saw us in a much more compromising position yesterday. I thought I would rather save Er-ge the embarrassment of letting you two getting to that point.

As lovely as the two of you are together." He poured each of them a large bowl of congee, topping one with pork and a few eggs and the other with the veggies. He made one for himself with a combination of both and set about making some tea.

"Er-ge you flatter me. I only hope that it came out well, I tried to cater to both your tastes, and I'm afraid we missed at least one meal yesterday. I need the two of you to sit up and eat while all of this is still hot. Afterward, you are welcome to go back to what you were doing."

he sat down for emphasis.

"Besides you are going to need the fuel if you want to continue at the pace we're going."

Edited 2021-05-14 04:48 (UTC)

The minute it takes Mingjue to shift focus from Xichen to A-Yao and food he spends simply enjoying Xichen's touch. Who would have thought that he enjoyed being all-but-petted. Once his focus does shift, however, he huffs. "You make a good point."

He peels himself away from Xichen with no small regret and slides to sit at the edge of the bed. "Both that we need the fuel"—he offers his hand to pull Xichen upright—"and that we might embarrass Xichen. We don't want that."

The spot across the table from A-Yao calls his name, but he's not going to head over until Xichen's up and moving.

Xichen makes a soft sound when Mingjue moves, although he's slower, taking the offered hand and using it to pull himself up. Not that he needs it, but the contact steadies him, his gaze drifting to the food for a moment. It does smell good and A-Yao does have a point, even if he'd rather still be pinned under Mingjue's warmth.

Still, there's something else to do first, xichen catching the ribbon with his fingers before his gaze settles on Guangyao.

"Will you come here first, please?"

“I’m full of good points Da-ge.” He said smiling. He was definitely not thinking about having Xichen rest on his chest while Mingjue took him thoroughly. Nope his mind was clear of such dirty thoughts.

Why were these men so beautiful. How was he going to live his life, knowing how lovely they look naked?

Guangyao looked up slightly confused and nodded. He got up quickly as if to shake the places his mind was wandering off to and made his way to the other side of the room.

“‘is everything alright Er-ge?”

Once Xichen's upright and he pauses, Mingjue pauses too in query—though only long enough to follow the movement of his hands towards the ribbon.

Ah.

He hides the sound in a cough and shifts away toward the food with one last caress of Xichen's arm. The ribbon on his wrist feels new and strangely heavy and he tries to act casually to not call attention to it as he sits where his delicious-looking (and smelling) breakfast awaits him.

Not that he's going to eat. Eating without them would be rude. But he is going to observe quietly and a little bit fondly. Xichen, really.

Xichen waits until he's close enough to reach for, arm sliding around his waist to pull him so Guangyao's standing between his legs before he kisses Guangyao, lingering and slow, fingers stroking the back of the neck until he pulls back.

"...I know I let you handle this yesterday and I won't be upset if you're not ready, but I wanted to offer it to you again, if only to hold onto until you're ready to accept it fully."

Guangyao felt himself pulled into the embrace and kiss. It was like how the tides moved towards the moon the pull that Xichen had on him. He felt so very small in his arms and he kissed back softly, parting his lips a little, enjoying the feeling of his mouth.

His eyes widened at the offer, darting back up to regard him through thick eyelashes. His eyes darted over to where Mingjue was sitting as well before trying to focus on what Xichen was saying.

"A-are you sure Er-ge? What if I'm not worthy?"

Though his gaze rested on the ribbon. He wanted it. He wanted to be wrapped in Xichen's love, his regard where he was safe and happy. But the guilt coiled in him as well. He could only remember his expression as he plunged Shuoyue into him.

"Are you sure you won't regret giving me this?" his voice small.

"I would never regret giving this to you, A-Yao." His thumb traces along Guangyao's jawline slowly.

"And I consider you worthy, or I wouldn't have offered you my heart. You're as much a part of me as Da-ge is, and with the way things are here, I feel like a reminder of that will aid both of you." Xichen kisses him again gently.

"I want you to have this."

He kisses back, his fingers cupping the side of his face, his mind working in circles. He loved this man so much. And maybe he needed an anchor as much as Guangyao did.

A reminder of that love. That he wasn't alone in this. That he hadn't thrown away his clan's teachings. It was important to him that this does not feel like promiscuity.

He looked over to see a matching ribbon on Mingjue's wrist and gave a soft small smile, his theory solidifying in his mind.

Maybe they could start again. All three of them. But first, he had to say something.

"Okay. I accept it.

However, I have one condition.

If one day I take off all my layers, and you see the true me underneath." Rotten, ugly, raw.

"I request that you keep the right to make your decision again. I want to give you that choice." how silly of him to want to be chosen, even when he was at his worst.

"If that's what you want, then I'll accept your condition but I won't change my mind, A-Yao." His smile is soft, starting to wrap the ribbon around his wrist, his fingers smoothing over the fabric as he does. Then it's just tying it off before the fabric disappears under his sleeve.

"I don't want to let the food get any colder, so we can discuss this more after we eat what you've cooked."

His breath hitches as the ribbon was delicately tied around his slim wrist. It felt like it was secure a bandage or a salve for a wound that he didn't know he carried. Unbidden the tears began to drip from his eyes.

"O-okay."

But before he could be led he moved to kiss him, deeply, as if he could imbue every bit of his feelings, his love his regret, his longing, everything.

"I love you Lan Xichen." he said softly before, moving to lead them to the table. He was still crying but he no longer cared.

Xichen catches him before he moves too far, thumbs wiping the tears away before he's kissing Guangyao again gently, hand cupping the back of his head.

"I love you. Both of you." He adds, gaze drifting to Mingjue before he releases Guangyao so they can actually eat.

It felt good to be pampered like that, to know that he was safe enough to cry here if he needed to. This was new for him.

Before he made his way to sit down at the table, he threw his arms around Mingjue as well. Pressing his face into his neck, in a very tight hug.

"We've been claimed Da-ge." His hand moved to squeeze the one that had a matching ribbon.

Chin propped on his fist, Mingjue doesn't interrupt, watching the both of them and having some sort of emotion that he has no idea how to parse. The moment does not feel quite real to him, which might be part of the problem. He breathes through it, eyes on Xichen gentling A-Yao and wiping away his tears.

He kicks up the corner of his mouth at Xichen's declaration and cannot quite bring himself to speak in return.

A-Yao's hug, however, takes him by surprise. He presses a broad hand to A-Yao's back first to hold him in place, before he can return it by wrapping his arms around him in full. He has to clear his throat twice before he can speak. "We have been," he agrees, smoothing A-Yao's hair down.

Looking up past A-Yao's head at Xichen, he says, "I never thought I would be."

"...I would have claimed you when we were teenagers." Xichen's voice is low, a little hoarse, his eyes closing for a moment after meeting Mingjue's gaze, something in his eyes just adding to the ache in his own chest. He stands for a moment before moving, coming up behind Guangyao before he leans down to kiss Mingjue.

And he's gotten better at kissing, trying to deepen it, hand sliding into Mingjue's hair until he pulls back. "I don't..." He clears his throat, takes a shaky breath.

"I want to hold onto this as long as possible. I don't want to..." He takes a shaky breath, tries to calm himself down.

"We...should eat before we get too distracted."

Guangyao melted into the embrace. The strong arms around him were so comforting as was the scent of Mingjue's skin. "Me neither," He said softly.

He watched softly as the two men kiss. He wanted to hold them here as well as long as he could. He leaned up to give each a kiss after they pulled away. One for Mingjue, and then Xichen. This may all be a dream in the afterlife, but he will want to hold on to all of this as long as he could.

"You're right er-ge. We have all day to just hold each other and get distracted. Let's eat." He unwound himself from the both of them, though he didn't want to at all.

"I made some steamed fish as well if Da-ge wants some. Master Xiao gets them from the ocean so it's untainted."

Whatever emotions that Mingjue is having at this moment, he wants to deal with none of them. They fill his ribcage and make his reality rock unsteadily on its feet, though not nearly in the same way that dragging ashore on the island had.

"Xichen," is all he says, followed by a soft, "I know."

He leans his head against A-Yao's hair as Xichen comes over, then kisses Xichen back with fervor, meeting him as deeply as he's being met. He squeezes A-Yao as he does so, just a little, and when he and Xichen break apart, kisses A-Yao in his turn.

It's all a little dizzying. Unless that's hunger.

Resettling himself sans A-Yao and with an acknowledging tilt at both of them, he surveys the spread of breakfast in front of them. To A-Yao: "Yes, fish, anything. I'm starving."

And after a moment, he adds, "Untainted?"

Xichen finally takes a seat at the table before removing the dishes intended for him from the tray, gaze never quite focusing on his food for just wanting to watch the other two. Acceptance to this change isn't coming easily nor is shedding the grief he'd kept locked inside but he is trying.

Trying to be happy so neither of them worry too much. Not that he's not happy, but the unreality of the situation has him concerned to a degree that he's going to blink and be back home with Wangji. Who needs his help, to some degree but...

Xichen cuts the thought off, his gaze shifting to Mingjue. "Yes, the uh...food we're given by those walking statue things, it's apparently meant to make engaging in...activities more appealing to people here."

“Mhm, it’s unavoidable that at least some things are laced with aphrodisiac. It isn’t as if I was able to make many of the sauces from scratch but apparently if you trade a square, you can have untainted food.

It’s stupid but I suppose anything to really add to the Eros energy they need us to generate. I was thinking that after Koi tower, I want to use a square to expand Master Xiao’s farm so that the unclean realm can make further steps towards self sufficiency.”

He began by serving Mingjue his bowl, topping it off with a heaping portion of steamed fish and a handful of green onions. He then grabbed his own portion and added a bit of hot oil on top, beginning to eat. The food was thankfully still hot.

“Er-ge there is some tofu in that bowl if you want a little bit. Apparently they do a lot of interesting things with it here to mimic various dishes. I would love to learn different styles of cuisine that would stick to your diet. “ He wanted to spoil and nourish these men that he felt so deeply for.

His question answered, Mingjue regrets for a moment even asking. He covers his eyes with his hand. Still, better to know than not.

"So the entire time I've been eating here I've been..." he asks them both, even though he knows the answer. He has never in his life been as randy for a long as he has since he's arrived. It puts a few things in perspective, especially how willing he's been to take the opportunities presented to him. "And everyone here has also."

There's a sharp bite of anger in that observation. Not at his lovers, though, and he removes his hand to look at both and wave away the comment—though if he knew him for longer than he knew himself, surely they'd know about this part of him as well.

He accepts the bowl and utensils from A-Yao readily enough anyway. "Even this, then?" he asks, even as he shoves a heap of it into his mouth. Once he swallows, he adds, "I'll help. With the securing of land. If I'm going to fuck, I'd like it to be because I'm inclined to."

And then he puts himself to work clearing out his bowl.

"It was a little obvious with how I..." Xichen clears his throat, his gaze drifting to his own bowl. "Not that it wasn't my choice but I do know that it did....help things along to some degree." Because he never would have been as bold as he had with the two of them under other circumstances.

"But if we can use squares to get safe food, that does seem the best course. And until then, we can also practice inedia if necessary, but as long as we're aware of it, we can take steps." Xichen does take some of the tofu though, beginning to eat slowly.

"It's very good, A-Yao, thank you for cooking."

"You're always welcome. You know how much I love to fuss." Guangyao flushes softly. "I agree, I wanted to with the both of you at various times in my life. I think the aphrodisiacs just helped me act on those impulses, that were there already. I doubt I ever would have dared to if we were back home."

He ate thoughtfully, pouring a bit more hot oil into his congee and helping himself to some more greens. It was nice to have a bit of Yunping when he wanted it.

"Not everything... The fish was brought in by Master Xiao. The vegetables I collected are from the greenhouse. There is also the wild game that we can hunt as well, boar and poultry. I know there are workarounds and we can plan to achieve it as we fill squares.

I would say maybe about forty percent of this meal? The rice and the sauces were from the robots. Anything from them can be counted as tainted. Just be careful with that and it should be okay."

Edited 2021-05-16 22:11 (UTC)

"Yes, A-Yao, thank you. It's good," Mingjue tells him to make sure he knows, echoing Xichen once he's reminded of his manners. He's eating steadily, finally taking the edge off his hunger. "And I can do the hunting. The butchering"—and there's a wry curl to that word—"too, but even at so much of the meals, I'd rather just eat than practice inedia. It's not—"

He cuts himself off and frowns into his bowl, jaw flexing as he stews over both of their revelations. That both Xichen and A-Yao had been bolder than they would have been otherwise. Not forced but...uninhibited. He thinks he's the same, though with how he is with A-Yao he's not entirely sure, and that bothers him.

When he looks up again, he tells them baldly, "I wouldn't have touched either of you at home." Period. End of. "Both of you know why." Or he thinks they do, at least. His expression is conflicted as he looks between them. "And I want to now. So—"

And here he falters, because he doesn't have a conclusion to reach. Not one that he can articulate. He makes a frustrated little noise and glowers at the Highly Suspicious Rice once more.

Xichen's quiet as he speaks and for a few moments after before setting his own utensils down to respond, his voice quiet. "I know, Mingjue." That he wouldn't have acted on his desires, even if he'd acknowledged him and Xichen knows he'd have made the same choice, to a degree.

But if either had made the first move, resisting them would have been just as difficult."I can't say I wouldn't have responded the same way at home, given the opportunity, but I don't..." He trails off, clears his throat and looks down at his food.

"And if we're being honest, I don't think I could have accepted A-Yao after his wedding. I likely shouldn't have here because of it, but it doesn't change the fact I gave in and I wanted it." Had craved it in a way he'd never expected. "Exposure may make it easier to resist as time passes though."

"We do, Da-ge." Nie Mingjue could never have done anything outside of the war and then his deviations got worse and worse. He reached out, putting his chopsticks down, and squeezed a broad hand.

"I would never do anything to mar your reputations. Being sworn to me is marring enough with my background. I would never dare to. Society would never accept it, us being in a cut-sleeve relationship on top of it." there was sadness on his face at the mention of the wedding. The wedding that he had wanted so badly with a woman who had loved him so much. One more thing his lecherous father ruined for him.

And thinking about A-Su... Thinking about her made the guilt twist deep in his belly. My curse was ever meeting you! She had screamed at him. He was a walking curse it seemed.

"Er-ge... Don't feel guilty.

I have no more obligations to A-Su, anymore...She...passed before I came here. I am a widower." Was it really only a week before he got here? It must have been a month and two weeks since she passed.

It was his fault she died. He was dead himself soon after. What fuck even happened in the time between?

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(cw suicide mention)