Erku — Inbox

[baxiasprice]

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Sexscape Navigator

» Age: 22 » Species: Human Cultivator » A5 Card: Open » Seeking: Allies and those with interesting martial powers to spar with. » Preferences: N/A » Interests: Saber cultivation. Military strategy. » Bio: Sect leader of the Qinghe Nie and one of the primary generals of the Sunshot campaign. Thrust into leadership young, he has had very little life outside of that for the past three years. His seize-the-day approach applies to everything and everyone, particularly when there are mutual sparks. He especially loves to get worked up and worked out.

base code by photosynthesis

NIE MINGJUE

Comments

[baxiasprice]

"We'll help if we can, Xichen," Mingjue reassured him on the heels of A-Yao's own reassurances. Lans were, well, Lans and Xichen was one of the best of them. With a touch of a growl to his words, he added, "Anything you need, even if I have to fight the island itself."

He gestures at A-Yao, "Because your words?" He narrows his eyes. "That's why I don't trust this island. Or whoever the hell is Xue Yang is. But..."

Taking a fortifying breath, he squares his shoulders, looks at each of them in turn, and forges ahead. "But negotiating to make this work or make it good? Despite the damn island? I can do that." He flexes his jaw. "So. I don't know what I like and don't, so I can't tell you. I don't mind, though..."

Faltering, he tries to figure out how to say what he wants to say without sounding too crass. He gives up a moment later because he just wants to make sure they know. "I don't mind if you do fuck other people. Even you, Xichen, even if we were in our own world I'd want you both all to myself. For here? I just want you both to let me protect you when I can. If you can let me do that, I can weather anything else."

[unimpeachable]

"I know you both will. I trust both of you and I've already taken steps to make my feelings clear to both of you." His gaze drops to Mingjue's wrist for a moment before shifting to Guangyao. "And I don't find fault in either of you doing what makes sense with whoever crosses your paths. It's the nature of this place after all." That said though, Xichen exhales a breath.

"But I will do my best to keep myself to what we've already arranged. If I find someone else, it will require more effort for me to be comfortable with the idea of sharing their bed in any fashion."

[taintedpeony]

"Stop trying to fight the island please." he laughed.

Feelings churned in his chest. Did he want to protect them? He would love to be protected. He moved to the other side of the table since he was done eating. He wanted to sit between them on the bed so he can hold their hands and be close to them. He took a hand in each again. Placing a kiss on each knuckle.

"Da-ge... I promise. You tell me too if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable or gives you trouble. We can take the time to figure out what we like and what we need. And Er-ge, that's fine. You don't have to do anything you don't want to.

I think I would like to have dinners with you two and stay with you if that is alright. Even if I have to help a friend or two I love the two of you so much. Er-ge, you have anchored me in a way I didn't realize I needed. Thank you."

On that note... "I'm sorry I snuck out yesterday. I think I just panicked at how real all of this felt suddenly."

[baxiasprice]

"I will fight the island if it needs fighting," Mingjue said, stubborn and not bending to the humor of it, even if he did get a glint in his eye at A-Yao's laugh. The point needed to be made. "I mean it. I'll take Baxia to the metal robot constructs again and deal with the consequences. I'll even let it go both ways; I'll tell you both if something's wrong."

Mingjue scooted so that the three of them were much closer together when A-Yao moved to sit between him and Xichen, unafraid to squash A-Yao a little with his proximity and jostle him into Xichen's side. It seemed appropriate.

"And I want—" It felt very strange to be even thinking about what he wanted. A little dazed-sounding, he continued, "I want you both to stay with me." He paused, then revised with a little more force, "I need you both to stay with me." He gripped A-Yao's hand and reached across him to tug at Xichen's, to make sure Xichen knew that, in case his words weren't enough.

Though at A-Yao's final confession, he frowned. "You both left. I thought if you needed me, you'd come get me. Are you better? Xichen, is he better?"

[unimpeachable]

"You don't have to apologize, A-Yao. It's been a lot for all of us and from what you've said, you suffered more than we even realized." His voice is soft, fingers squeezing Guangyao's before his gaze shifts back to Mingjue.

"I calmed him down and we talked. It's just been overwhelming in such a short time."

[taintedpeony]

He allowed himself to be jostled in the middle. he didn't mind being there at all. He did however move his legs up so they were now hanging off Nie Mingjue's lap a little, making himself comfortable.

He nodded. Feeling comfortable in that declaration.

"Okay, I can move my belongings to your quarters in that case. I don't have too much. We can work on getting better furnishing for your rooms as well.

I think I am better now. I'm glad we're talking about it. It may happen sometimes, I get overwhelmed and feel the need to flee. It's a lot of new emotions... Thank you for holding me and talking to me."

[baxiasprice]

Patting A-Yao's legs absently, Mingjue agrees with him with a glance around the room. "I'll find a bed." Though his thoughts aren't on A-Yao moving, but on what Xichen said and what A-Yao confirmed.

Mingjue takes a thoughtful moment to consider, then says with far more concern than previously, "You've both been overwhelmed. At different times. Are you..."

He doesn't know what he wants to ask Xichen. He doesn't know what he wants to ask A-Yao.

"I am doing something that I need to stop?" he asks of both of them.

[unimpeachable]

"It's not anything you've done, A...Mingjue." Xichen answers after a moment, fingers still squeezing Guangyao's hand although his gaze is focused on Mingjue.

"...It's just been a lot of ...emotional moments in a very short amount of time."

[taintedpeony]

"I've been here the longest and it has only been a month for me.

Xichen and you were only here a week. It is a lot to figure out. Of course, you didn't cause it."

He squeezed Xichen's hand before leaning up to kiss Mingjue's chin. It was the furthest he could reach.

"Sex is new. And sex with two of the most important people to me will certainly cause some emotions. I loved it and care for the two of you. I think there is a part of me that firmly believes I don't really deserve it. I think that's why I tend to get overwhelmed when people are kind."

[baxiasprice]

"Ah. That there have been," Mingjue agrees with Xichen, expression thoughtfully solemn. He lets out his breath and shifts, patting A-Yao's legs again thoughtfully. "I keep thinking you must have been here longer than that. More than a month."

He dips his head to kiss A-Yao back, absently petting him. Concern coils up within him, though—a different sort of concern than that which had driven his previous question. He frowns at A-Yao over his words, then looks to Xichen for help.

"This place is complicated and stressful enough that I don't need to be adding to it," is all he finally says. Then he gestures a Xichen to say something to A-Yao about the kind comment. All he can come up with is, "Especially by being unkind."

[unimpeachable]

"A-Yao..." Xichen's eyes close for a moment as he considers what to say. "I hadn't realized it had that much of an effect on you." His thumb rubs over the back of Guangyao's hand as he glances at Mingjue for a moment before looking back down at his food.

"...Maybe some time to adjust to all of this would benefit you? Away from the demands people make on you?" The demands they might make on him.

[taintedpeony]

He gave Mingjue a small rueful smile. "I am just used to fitting into new places quickly. I think that is why." after the kiss he leaned back, to lay against Xichen's shoulder.

He kicked his legs out a little thoughtfully. It has been a lot and he had a feeling it was going to continue to be a lot.

"I think...I think I'll take a month off from the cafe. I have enough credits saved for some basic needs and I can hunt for the rest.

I think I want to just spend a month in a quiet place with the two of you. I don't want to think of anything else. I don't want to think of politics or what is expected of me. Or who I need to be. I just want to figure out who I am. Er-ge, Da-ge. I'm just really tired."

[baxiasprice]

After a thoughtful nod, Mingjue declares, "Then the bed is definitely required. If you're not just going to be staying here, but—" he pauses. Well, it sounded better in his head. "But staying here."

He waves a hand. They know what he means.

"But I." And here he pauses again, but not because he's faltering, but because he's caught once more in a thought. The idea that expectations have simply been done away with is a strange one, and the fact that they were pulled here against their will and have no idea how to get back hits him all anew. "I."

Huh.

"Huh." Huh. "We don't have to think of those things here. Nobody's depending on us but us."

[taintedpeony]

"Get a big one, So you two can sprawl comfortably as well, I plan on using the both of you as mattresses." He smiles at him softly, from his perch on Xichen.

"No. No sect responsibilities, no war. Just us. Who is Nie Mingjue, the man? Not the leader or the hero or even the elder brother? Who is Lan Xichen the man? When he is not the first jade or Zewu-jun.

Who am I? When I'm not Jin Guangyao, Lianfang-zun, When I'm not even Meng Yao.

I don't know.

But I want to find out."

[unimpeachable]

While the talk of the bed has him almost smiling, it's the next part that has him sitting there, gaze focusing back on his meal, starting to eat again because leaving food isn't an acceptable behavior. But the words Jin Guangyao said are still repeating in his head, his grip tightening on the utensils until he has to put them down.

"...I need some air." His voice is quiet, Xichen moving from his chair before he turns toward the door.

"I'll be back."

[baxiasprice]

Mingjue rolls the concept around in his head and doesn't come up with anything as startling or stunning as the first idea that the only people he's responsible for here are the handful he chooses to be. It's a very strange absence of weight that comes with that thought, along with a gnawing sensation that he's missing something.

"I think I know who I am," Mingjue says. "It's what to do about it that I'm worried about."

But Xichen is leaving.

"Oh. Xichen—" He doesn't stop him, doesn't...quite pick up on the fact that it's their topic that pushed him to flee the room. So he looks at A-Yao in askance. "Breakfast over?"

[taintedpeony]

"..." He was sitting up looking worried.

"I think I said the wrong thing.

I am such an idiot sometimes. But I think maybe he needs some space and time to gather himself. This is all a lot for him."

It was a lot for all of them. Later on in the afternoon, he made a note to prepare the week's meals for the UC.

"Are you still hungry? There is still plenty of meat and eggs."

[baxiasprice]

"Don't call yourself an idiot," Mingjue orders him firmly, despite his focus on the door Xichen just exited. "You two did warn me that this place was overwhelming. As long as you don't think we need to go after him, then let him breathe and get his head cleared."

He chews over that as he shifts back to prod at his food. "Yeah. Pass them here." He gestures with a hand to load up his plate once more. Fuel for the kind of physical activity he kept up was all-important. After shoving a bit of egg in his mouth, he then offers, "I feel like a pebble dropped in a pond. You think having to run off or shut down is going to happen a lot?"

[taintedpeony]

"Sorry." he sat up straight on the bed. He moved forward to fill up his plate. He folded his legs together and hummed thoughtfully as he watched Mingjue eat, grabbing at his bowl and filling it up with some of the steamed fish and eating slowly.

"I can imagine. It must be really strange for you. You know him and you know Meng Yao at least, but we are different.

It may. People deal with difficulty differently and being able to open up when you don't know what you are feeling right away can be especially hard.

Back in our world, there was a certain way we had to present, for whatever reason, they vary. However, with sex and physical intimacy involved, there is a sense of emotional vulnerability that comes with it.

Some people use it to not think about everything else going on and just get wrapped in the feeling." Like Jin Guangshan who's whoring got so much worse after Jin Zixuan died. "Some shut down so the actions can be performed, and do what is needed to survive." like his mother who went through so much brutality so that she and her son could live.

"I imagine that this is the first time that Lan Xichen had to think about sex and sexuality as a more real concept than the vague thought of getting married and providing an heir someday. This must have been real and raw for him. As it was for us or at least me, I think.

He gave us his ribbon but there is still a rule against promiscuity in the Lan Doctrine. It'll take time to adjust.

All we can do is be there when he is ready and has figured out how he is feeling. Give each other space but know we can come to the others if we need to."

[baxiasprice]

Hrm. He'll have to watch A-Yao for that kind of self-deprecation coming out again. In the meantime, he does not eat slowly, though he does listen and hum in the right places to make sure that A-Yao knows he's listening.

He's not sure he can relate, but he's listening.

"You're strangers but not," Mingjue agrees eventually. "But even though the span is longer, change always happens at home when you go to war. That's how being away works. Just because I came back to more changes than I expected doesn't mean you are entirely foreign. Just a different person I need to get to know."

He considers.

"And I see what you mean about the sex, but I don't like to miss opportunities. Even if you're both different."

And then he shrugs, because it's really not that complicated.

[taintedpeony]

He chewed thoughtfully. This was bringing up some heavy topics. He breathed slowly before speaking.

“I don’t want to tell Er-ge this...but I died back home. He’s too fragile for it I think as he is now.
I’m only six and thirty. I spent my last life, worrying about what other people say, twisting myself into what they wanted so I missed the opportunity to have what I truly wanted. To even really explore what sex is.” He looked at him seriously.

“I don’t want to miss that again. Even if the two of you are different. You both were the first people to value me. I loved you for it. I loved having sex with you.

Life was short, I’m not wasting it again or making the same stupid mistakes I did in my last one. “

[baxiasprice]

"Yeah, he really did not take my dying well," Mingjue said, contemplating his near-empty bowl. "But since it hasn't happened yet for him, shouldn't be as bad. He's tough. And you're not dead here."

With that verdict, he reaches for one of the last bits of whatever, bound and determined to eat his fill despite the 'dangers' if he's decided to eat at all.

"You'll have your chance to explore sex, at least," Mingjue continues, as serious as he usually is, though he does flick his eyes over to A-Yao to acknowledge the amusement buried in that particular observation. "And whatever else. Make less mistakes."

He sets down his bowl, finally satisfied.

[taintedpeony]

"I know he is." He wonders though. Even the finest jade shatters easily enough. He put his food down and shifted over on the bed so that Nie Mingjue could sit if he wanted to.

He laughed softly.

"I think I've fucked more in the last month than I have done in my entire life. Which honestly wasn't a lot. A-Su and I did before we got married and had a son." He was going to omit some details here. He wasn't ready to open that can of worms with him yet.

"...Due to complications, we didn't after that. I never wanted to go outside our marriage, so I didn't for more than a decade.

And then this.

No wonder I was overwhelmed." He gave a soft laugh.

"Talk about coming off a dry spell.

Da-ge, what are sex things you've always wanted to explore? If the opportunities were presented to you?"

[baxiasprice]

Once Mingjue was done, he settled his bowl on the table, set down his chopsticks, and bailed to the bed so he could sit near A-Yao.

"No wonder," was his wry agreement. He let the rest of it drift off unremarked, however. What did one say to that? About a late wife and child and no sex for a decade? Nothing, apparently, though he did grunt sympathetically.

He kicked his feet out in front of himself and considered the final question, however. "Don't know. Sex in general, of course. With certain people." Another half-smile, just a quirk of the lips. "There's almost too much choice. You're asking for specifics?"

[taintedpeony]

He just settled himself onto Mingjue's lap. Like a cheerful housecat.

"Yes, I was asking for specifics, you ridiculous man.

Do you like giving or receiving? What are you comfortable doing? Do you like being tied up? Do you want to tie others up?

What do you fantasize about when you touch yourself?"